How does one drive with the brake lights on at the same time?

Oh wait... I can't answer... BECAUSE FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY/HOW!!!!!  How is it possible to, or even a good idea to be inching forward while pressing the brakes at the same time???  In cars, the brake is designed to be pressed by the right foot, and so is the gas, so both theoretically shouldn't be pressed down at once.  That makes sense, given that you can press the gas down at varying pressures to change your speed.  However... the road is covered in dimwits inching forward with the brake lights pressed on.  ASSHOLES.  This is why more people should drive manuals.  Since I can't answer the question, I pose it to the readers.  Give me an aswer please.  WHY GOD WHY?

On another note... for god sake AOL, stop releasing newer, buggier versions.  If this happens in another six months I'll go insane.

But, if anyone has one for me to answer, go ahead.

I've just been burnt out for this week and likely going to be for the next one as well. I started out on the phones on Monday, and I'll be doing my first unassisted week starting tomorrow (also only having one day off between the two sucks ass). I got my first paycheck yesterday, and had a great time at a party, so that was on the good. Otherwise, I've been a little down, something that will hopefully go away pretty soon. Ugh... I just feel way on the depressed side right now, I wish I could shake it...

Everybody masturbate! It makes the world happy!

That is all.

I just checked out the newest Star Wars trailer online (like... 6 times).  It is fucking awesome.  We got Vader, we got a shiny 3PO... finally people are starting to look badass, like Anakin.  And we have an army of Wookies!  How fucking cool is that.  It incorporates some of the original Star Wars movie, which is good.  The trailer makes it look like this might actually be an honest to god Star Wars movie.  I swear to god Lucas, you fuck this up the last memory we have of your Star Wars is you fucking up the franchise and screwing with the originals.  Don't fuck it up this time.

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but this is straight out an American classic... I want some evil now.  Check it out, I'm not sure this link'll work since it's within AOL, but just tell me if it doesn't and I'll find another one.

http://www.aol.com/starwars/trailer/index.adp?type=lrg

*found out it's AOL content for a bit... they released it a day early, but the trailer will probably be posted to other places on the 5th or 6th. Trust me, it's awesome. So glad I get AOL for free now*

Here's a question posed to you guys, one I read out of a magazine, but it was a surprisingly easy "would you rather..." question for me. So...

Would you rather end every sentence by shouting "Excelsior!!!!!!!"
OR
Not be able to tell the different between kittens and donuts?

Personally, I'll go with the kitten/donuts one, 'cause at least then I could avoid kittens and donuts. Simple, huh?

I'm registered at a dating site, and my profiles specifically states looking for 18-35 year old men. Now, this is a little outside of my range at both ends (I'd never date an 18 year old and a 35 year old is iffy...). But nevertheless, I get messages from 45+ age men. I got one message from a 51 year old. His reason for contacting us young'un girls in our twenties? "I like younger women for two reasons. First they generally have a great outlook and different attitudes which I find interesting. Next, women closer to my age are looking to settle down and full time commitment which is not where I am at right now." WTF??!!

Let me paraphrase this for you. "I'm afraid of women my age, cause they're intelligent and know what they want from sex, specifically orgasms." Oooh... scary. There are DEFINITELY women that are 40+ that aren't looking for commitment, just a good time. There is absolutely no fucking way that a 20 year old woman is an intellectual equal to a 50 year old woman. Just not fucking possible. I can't understand how a man thinks that women his age aren't attractive, but that he's attractive enough to pick up women 20+ years his junior. Now... if he had been honest, say "I like women in their 20s cause they're a little naive and have great tits", he'd still be an asshole but at least an honest asshole. Or maybe "They're more likely to give me head and not expect anything in return."

What in the world makes a man think that a woman would be attracted to a man that could be her father (in my case, older than my father). Umm... yeah. If the age difference is greater than my age, it's just sick. There's a few women that jones for the older men, but I've never understood it, never will. It's just mighty skeevy. These men need to grow up and approach women their own ages, they're beautiful, fucking smart as hell, and probably know how to have better sex than I do. In other words, they're as attractive as hell in all senses of the word. A lot of older men just need to grow the fuck up.

Not a real question, just one of my own, so it won't be labeled as one, just as a ranting. Take it as you will.

Just a short update on the side. Second day of work tomorrow *yay!*. They have one of those automated coffee machines that spits out the cup and has different settings. It tastes like battery acid and has grinds at the bottom, but it's free!

Hopefully tomorrow after work I'll swing by Best Buy and pick up a card reader so I can upload some picks (I have no clue what I did with the I-link cable, and besides, uploading from the cam kills the batteries). Maybe a pic of me or the view from the balcony. Anyway, that's enough of an update for me.

"Do You Shave?"  *nudge, nudge... wink, wink*

Oh, fuck you buddy.  What is men's compulsion to have a woman who looks her age up top, but looks like a prepubescent girl downstairs?  I get the whole "ooh it's smooth".  But don't we have enough to shave/remove?  Let's see... I got my legs, my armpits, and that's a good enough square footage for me.  Then there's other women who shave their arms, their lip hair.  Then there's eyebrow tweezing, let's not forget that.  So in the grand scheme of things, we fucking remove enough hair.  Our eyebrows, eyelashes, and head hair is the only hair we're supposed to have now.  *snort*  I think fucking not guys.

Pubic hair is part of being a woman, deal with it.  If men can have hairy EVERYTHING, they do not have the right to rub our legs and go "hey, honey, you missed a spot".  This coming from a men, which normally grow hair out their ears, nose, and on their balls.  You shave your balls smooth, and keep them that way, then we can talk.  You get your choice men.  You can nick them with a razor and get red shaving bumps (and deal with the itch when the hair grows back), rip the hairs out with hot wax, or use the lovely burning sensation of Nair.  Like I said, your choice.  After that, you can ask me if I shave.

Now I'm not saying let's let it grow wild or free, you can't do that with any hair, not even the stuff on your head.  I'll trim and shave around the edges around the area just as general upkeep, but there's no way I'm dealing with the hassle of keeping it smooth as a five year old down there.  Hell fucking no.

Quote from a glamour magazine: "a mobster... laments that the bigest societal change he's noticed is 'broads shavin' their bushes.'  His description of the local strip club: 'It's like the Girl Scouts in here!'"  Well put.

Sorry, no questions today. Tomorrow I'll do a commentary, but that's tomorrow.

Tomorrow I start my new job. It's more along the lines of what I studied for, and most likely there's a lot more room for advancement. I make a tiny bit less per hour, but I'll work more hours per week so I'll still make more, plus it has benefits (oh thank GOD). I can finally see a doctor when I need to, plus they'll pay for any classes I want to take. Given that the UofA is right in the middle of town, the draw to take a decent art class is pretty strong. It'll be nice to work with more people my age, too.

I was sort of sad about leaving my job at HE Microwave though. Much as I hated cube life, it was interesting at times (though slow at others). Everyone that I worked with (and those I hardly knew), came up to me to congratulate me on my new job. They all told me what a good job I did helping them out where I could (why don't employers ever tell you that you're doing well when you're employed? Everyone would be a little happier) I think they understand where I'm coming from in leaving, since I only worked 30 hours a week without benefits. They know they'll be looking for jobs too if they want to stay in the area, since the plant is closing in less than a year; another reason I was leaving was that I wasn't sure how long they would keep me on, given that some of the engineers don't know either. Many of them commented about going to Raytheon (the company that half owns HE), calling it "the mothership". But the people were very nice there, and I will miss Carol :) Someone shorter than me that's crazy about cats (she skillfully evaded my question about how many she had by saying "a lot"). I spent most of today talking to those that were the most interesting, as well as doing the document audit and some warranty work on the database. I will miss those people, and I do wish them the best of luck finding a good job so they can stay here, it is a beautiful place. Good luck guys.

Why in the fuck do cats eat earwax?

Some of you may not even know that they do, but yeah, grossly enough, cats loooooove the earwax.  Why?

Here's the first big reason.  A human tongue has 10,000 tastebuds, and a cats has 500.  So to begin with, cat's delicate palate isn't quite as discerning as a human's, hence why they'll eat brands of cat food that smell like wet ashes.

However, a cat's sense of smell is a lot stronger than a human's, and they can pick up subtle cues in a scent that we can't.  When a cat smells earwax, they smell the fatty acids and the dead skin cells (mmmmm).  So they think, this must be a tasty treat (also, one of my web page sources say they love scabs... *shudder*). 

So a human has a shitty sense of smell, but we're good at figuring out what tastes good; for cats it's completely reversed.  To quote another source, "something... has to taste fucking awful before [a cat] won't eat it."  Which seriously leaves me wondering, what tastes worse than scabs and earwax....

Can you break a penis?

Sorry to say, yes, you can break a penis *waits to hear collective groan/cringe from the men*.  Here’s how it happens:  You’re having a good old romp in the bedroom, some rough jungle-lovin’.  Your penis slips out (woman on top generally), and if it gets reinserted too fast and off the mark, it will bend.  One or both of the two major blood vessels that supply you with your raging hard-on will snap, since they’re filled with blood.  Usually it’s just a small tear, but enough to fill the rest of the penis with blood.  So you lose the erection, and your dick becomes black and blue, and swells to the size of an orange.  Then comes the blinding pain.  Oooooh…

 

Yeah, go see a doctor.  You gotta fix it, since there may be a tear in the urethra too.   In addition to that, if it heals with the tear, you’ll have a scar, which causes the blood vessel to shorten, giving you a noticeably curved penis.  So umm… watch out for that rough sex jungle lovin’.

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

As a woman, I can't understand the question.  So here's the answer I can give you.  1.  You will never, NEVER get an honest answer from most men, so don't bother asking.  2.  Why did you buy something that you might have the slightest inkling would make your ass look fat?  If you think white jeans make your ass look fat, don't buy 'em.  Simple as that.  So in response to the question, just for asking it, I will say, yes, it does make your ass look fat.

After reading so many other people's LiveJournals, I decided to get my own. It's sorta rough right now, and I'll fix the styles later. As far as the content, I'm not much into drama, so you won't hear "OMG, I ate a sammich, LOL, Tiffy's being mean to me :(". Noooo... so, as I am a curious person, I decided that mainly this will be a Q&A thing. Questions I'm curious about, odd questions. Occasionally I'll post a rant, pictures, or a few details about my life, but I want to keep it to questions. Anyone's welcome to give me questions. But I have a good one to start off with, it's a question/rant. After that, I gotta start researching the answers to other questions I have.